Ugh. Had nothing at all to eat for most of the day. I think more than anything I was afraid of eating because I might end up having to feel what I felt yesterday. All those cravings and urges to binge. I was worried eating would open pandora's box, and then i might binge and binge.
Today was a 200 day. I would put down what I ate, but I ended up eating a total of 310 calories. Going over by 110. It makes me feel fat. I should know thats not terrible, but I feel like a bad person for going over the set amount. I was doing perfect till today. 6th day on a 7 day long abc challenge, and I went over and screwed up. I hate it. I feel like a failure. My last day is a 300 day, and realistically I could just swap today with tomorrow and say okay tomorrow I'll just have 200. But that feels like I'm cheating just to feel better.
But even though it feels that way, I'm still going to aim for 200. I'll just be restricting myself to some egg whites and my can of weight watchers soup.
Ugh I know I wont gain logically, but I feel emotionally like oh my god, I'm going to put on 5 pounds just from 300 calories.
Sigh I'm going to bed before I ravage my cupboards.
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